On my very first day in Dublin, I wonder, whether I’ve mentioned it once or twice, I was thrust into the middle of things and found myself coping quite well, measured up against the fact that I am neither outdoorsy nor outgoing nor especially outspoken it surpised me. Measured up against the fact that I’ve already had the chance to grow into a number of unknowns, it didn’t quite come as a shock to me that if I’m looking for some place to belong I might as well look in an unlikely place where I would know from the very start that I didn’t, couldn’t belong and after a while start feeling like I did.
I have learned so much here that school cannot teach you, that life in a bubble cannot teach you, that you cannot teach yourself. The world outside of my head is pretty scary and pretty big but I’ve come to embrace it in a way I never thought I could, in a way that is addictive, makes you want to see more. Yes, I will be back home by tomorrow and yes, I look forward to it because this is not reality. From now on I need to work harder on being who I want to be, here it kind of came naturally after a while, I need to work hard to keep the friends I’ve made here somewhat of by my side and to make my absence up to the friends that I have left in August. This may be goodbye but I know that it’s more of a beginning than an end because in contrast to every other time I had to leave, I have no regrets. I only have memories, a lot of photos, thousands of good stories to tell, a handful of close friends to call on skype and a new perspective on life. I’m endlessly thankful for the people who helped me get here, both those who supported me in coming here and those who did their part here.
When I leave this time, if I cry, I know why, because I know what I leave behind here and because now, I also know what I left behind in Germany. If I cry it is because I know what I have gained, because I am happy to have found so much, because I know I will not loose a thing. The pain, the joy, it was all worth it. That’s the greatest gift anyone could ever ask for.
