I know I haven’t been posting a whole lot of stuff in the last couple of weeks, it just shows by now that I do not only have a lot to write for class but that, in the time that I don’t, I take every chance I can get in order not to sit at home in front of my blog trying to come up with something wise and profound to write whilst listening to my housemates passing their time with what I can only interprete as playing soccer with a kitchen cupboard as a ball in our stairway. I don’t wanna regret not trying everything to be somewhat content here (I think the first couple of weeks of getting used to here have already taken away so much of the good experiences I could have had) and at the same time I don’t want to leave everything behind. By now, though, I can start to find how and why all of this will eventually help me. There are already some moments when I feel I might someday be okay with the fact that the people here will no longer be my roommates, my fellow students, my friends even but that they will make some of the best memories anybody could ever have. I will just have to accept the fact that “right now” is not always the best situation for everybody, as much as I’d like right now to stay here forever, I would have wanted a time where all my friends back home were still in Konstanz to stay forever. But it didn’t and you can’t make it stay even if you cry and you beg. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that the sharp ache I feel in my chest when I think of the good times we’ve had (both here and in Konstanz) progressively subsides and can eventually, if I try hard enough, make some space for something else, something new, something more optimistic. For now I don’t try to think about it too much (which of course is impossible if you write about it all too often) and instead attempt to enjoy as much as I can while I still can.
