That’s how important this blog is….I’m using one of the best title ideas I’ve ever had here instead of other places…well, never mind. Tonight’s ska party was very different from the first one about a month ago, it was much more mellow and talky and we didn’t dance at all, which might have been because everybody is (mentally and/or physically) exhausted or because some of the people who had been there last time weren’t (because a. they have mysteriously disappeared, b. because they’re back in the US or c. because they had some other place to be where they, believe me, could not possibly have had as much fun…). It was great craic though and I got to tell people about the ridiculously appropriate metaphor I came up with to put all of this into words (I might tell you about it some day when I’m in a really good mood). The last three days I studied over at the library or in the main arts building to 11.30, 10.30 and 10 respectively and I finally got one of my essays done so that now it’s “only” two more to go and while I know about (and am annoyed by) the fact that it’s always a damn process, because you don’t just think of an essay topic, write it down and hand it in in one day, you have to plan, do research, read, read, read and then do your analysis, I can say that I’m on a decent way, having planned out one essay and having made an appointment to discuss the second essay on Monday. I should be on the right track.
For all of the contemplations of this week, that I maybe want to stay here, about what it really is that keeps me here or whether it is something that keeps me not here but just from coming back, I have to say that I’m planning on not giving that any thought until I’ve had the chance to take a step back from it and do some proper evaluation of all of it. A lot of the stuff I’ve been thinking about was basically just in my mind, there was no actual decision made, no plans formulated so that now, after almost a week of trying not to be entirely torn between what I have and what I want, nothing has actually changed. I just have so much more to take into consideration when I come back home, so much stuff to look back on and to filter in order to see what it is that nourished me in this time, that gave me so much I didn’t want to leave it in the first place.
